In today’s New York Times it was reported that Mayor Bloomberg is expected to get approval of a far reaching ban on the sale of something that he believes represents a persistent threat to the citizens of his city; the sale of soft drinks larger than 16 ounces.
In a move designed to take a bite out of one of the major causes of obesity, Bloomberg’s law will prevent movie houses, fast food franchises, delis, and even sports arenas from selling the large portion drinks.
“Obesity is a nationwide problem, and all over the United States, public health officials are wringing their hands saying, ‘Oh, this is terrible,’ ” Mr. Bloomberg said in an interview on Wednesday in the Governor’s Room at City Hall.
“New York City is not about wringing your hands; it’s about doing something,” he said. “I think that’s what the public wants the mayor to do.”
Fast forward 5 years. Two 14 year olds are walking to school.
“Dude…you are looking a bit wrecked man. Tough night?”
“You have no idea. My folks were out for the evening with the neighbors. So I invited Susie over for a little fun. I had found this trunk in the attic of my dad’s old Fraternity stuff. We took it down and went through it. There was some t-shirts with funny things on them, a beer stein with his name on it, a wooden paddle which really gooned us out, a bong, and then,….behind some old books and magazines, there they were!”
“What man, what was there?!?!”
“Something I bet you have never seen before and may never see for as long as you live…2 plastic glasses marked “Big Gulp.” I swear they could hold 36 ounces EACH!”
“Then what, then what?”
“So we went into the kitchen and got 3 cans of Coke for each of us. Went to the freezer and got some of that good store bought ice, you know, the round kind with the holes in it.”
“Dude, we each poured all three Cokes into our one plastic Big Gulp Class!”
“And then what….what did you do next?!?!”
“We turned on some tunes, popped open a can of Pringles, and man, I am telling you it was so righteous. We then drank the entire Big Gulp glass while eating the Pringles.”
“Holy crap! How cool is that! And you got away with it. Your parents were not even suspicious?”
“Dude, do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck? I took the empty cans and put them way in the bottom of the garbage. Then, when I went to bed, I took a empty gallon milk jug.”
“Why did you do that?”
“You fool! If they had seen me get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom a couple of times, they would have been onto my game from the get go.”
“You are one smart dude. Hey, can I get some of that action? Maybe next week?”
“Yeah, why not. I think you will dig it. The folks are going to the Mets game on Saturday, come on over then and I will get the Big Gulps out.”
“Okay, great! Hey, I had a thought. Rather than Coke, how about Grape Nehi?”
“Yeah, that sounds great! You are one creative partier”
“So I’ve been told.”